What would you pay to receive that one piece of information that promises to
transform your life and eliminate stress entirely? Well, according to Dr.
Richard Lazarus, a psychologist who was a professor at the University of
California, Berkeley, you would do well to toss that information to the wolves.
The reason is that human beings need a certain amount of stress to propel
themselves forward and continue growing. A life that is completely without
stress is a life lived in a cardboard box on a secluded mountain.
Dr. Lazarus made the distinction between distress and eustress. Distress, he
said, is what is commonly understood when people speak of stress: negative
pressure that results from adverse circumstances. Eustress, on the other hand,
is positive pressure, the kind of pressure that has allowed the great men and
women of the past to produce wonderful works of art, overcome difficult
sporting challenges, push through new projects to the end, endure great odds,
and so on. Eustress is the kind of stress that you would feel when beginning a
new job, moving to a new home, or entering a new relationship -- a happy kind
of stress that differs from what you would feel if you were to be made
redundant, lose your home in a hurricane, or end a long-term relationship on
unhappy terms.
Athletes speaking of being in the zone, a state of mind in which concentration
is one-pointed and singular, excluding all concerns about the surrounding
environment and narrowing the focus down to a straight trajectory between start
and finish. Eustress would be the motive force that joins the two points.
Without the force supplied by eustress, there is no desire, no passion, no
compelling reason to move forward. The same principle applies not only on the
track but also in everyday life. Without that motive force pushing you toward
your goals, you would be like a leaf drifting wherever an outside force cares
to take you.
Often it is possible to transmute distress into eustress simply by asking
yourself the right questions. For example, when you are working extra hours to
finance that brand new sports car, it is all too easy to forget why you are
doing that to which you have committed yourself. Suddenly you get caught up in
the nuisances of the present moment and lose sight of the bigger picture. Ask
yourself "Why am I doing this? What is the outcome I hope to achieve?" If
need be, you can carry around distinct reminders that will allow you to refocus
your energies on the end goal. In the above example, inserting in your wallet a
picture of the sports car that you wish to finance will provide you with the
means to gain extra clarity during those moments of increased demand.
Another way to change the color of stress into something favorable is to
develop back-up strategies. This technique usually goes by the name of
contingency planning. Having a plan B available, and even a plan C if
necessary, will provide you with a safety net on which you can fall if things
get too far out of hand. Nothing causes distress like having only one way
forward. Find the fork in the path.
Finally, avoid perfectionist thinking. The circle, considered by many to be the
ultimate symbol of perfection, is ironically also a symbol of the fate that
awaits you when you refuse to move forward because you are trying to perfect
what you are currently doing. You will never break out of the circle of
perfectionist thinking, and distress will build with each unfinished project.
By realizing that perfection is only an ideal and not a possible concrete
reality, you can remove heavy loads of distress that are weighing you down in
your work and instead strive for something that is more than good enough.
Source:
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